


Just One More (and other stories)

by Raberba girl (Raberba_girl)



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Cats, Cats, Christmas, F/M, Family, Family Fluff, Ficlet Collection, Fluff, Gen, One Shot Collection, Wedding
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-06
Updated: 2018-10-08
Packaged: 2019-01-30 04:29:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 12,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12646113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raberba_girl/pseuds/Raberba%20girl
Summary: A collection of my miscellaneous Batman one-shots and vignettes.New story: What if Bruce Wayne adopted cats instead of children?





	1. Just One More

Just One More

(rough draft)

A Batman fanfic by Raberba girl

 

_Inspired by Medli45_

 

Summary: Tim's been awake for way too long. The ladies decide to do something about it. (Fluffy, platonic ficlet.)

 

o.o.o

 

Timothy Drake spared just enough of a glance to confirm that the four intruders in his home were benign before reverting his full attention to the main computer screen in front of him. "Hi," he added as an afterthought.

 

Barbara made a flourishing gesture. "See? Safe and sound, not dead or kidnapped or mind-controlled."

 

"He does not look to be in good health, however," Koriand'r observed. "I have seen humans get like this when they suffer sleep deprivation and poor nutrition."

 

"Tiiiimmm," Stephanie chided as she strode over to her boyfriend, "why haven't you been answering your _phone_ , hon?"

 

"My phone?" Tim looked around vaguely as Stephanie perched on the arm of his chair. "Oh."

 

Cassandra held up the device with a slight smile. The screen was black, even with her thumb on the Home button.

 

"I believe the device is, as they say, 'dead,'" Kori said, "despite its inorganic state."

 

"Sorry," Tim mumbled, "didn't realize the battery had died...."

 

"What are you working on, anyway?" Barbara asked, peering at the screen bank.

 

"Yeah," Stephanie pouted. "What's so important that you'd skip patrol for two weeks, blow off a meeting with Batman, and then _completely_ fall off the grid for three days?"

 

"Eating? Not eating?" Cassandra wondered, more concerned about her brother's health than his availability. She looked around disapprovingly at the coffee-stained mugs and mostly-empty bowls of days-old ramen littering the desktop and floor.

 

"Definitely not showering," Barbara teased, ruffling her fingers through the young man's greasy hair before wiping her hand on her jeans.

 

Tim inadvertently closed his eyes in pleasure at her touch, his hands stilling on the keyboard for a moment. "Mm."

 

"Mmmm," Stephanie echoed, both hands replacing Barbara's to massage his scalp. "...Heh. It's gross but it feels weirdly good at the same time? So _soft_."

 

Tim, slightly arched with his face tipped up, made a visible effort to straighten and return his eyes to the computer. "Don't distract me, I'm almost done."

 

Instead, yet another set of feminine fingers slid through his hair. "I believe this is long enough to practice the 'braiding,' yes?" Kori remarked with interest.

 

"Yeah, but do you really want to practice on--?" Barbara started, then noticed Cassandra pillowing her cheek on her hands. The silent message was clear: _"Lull him to sleep, he needs it."_

 

Stephanie saw it and smiled. "On my man? Why not~"

 

"Guys, come on," Tim complained, dragging a couple of windows to a side screen in order to free up room on the main one, " _all_ of you have longer hair than mine, play with your own."

 

Kori was already fiddling with three locks of his hair. "Hold on, Kori," Barbara instructed, "pull it over the other way, see?"

 

"Ohhh, yes, I remember now."

 

"Here, Cass," Stephanie invited, keeping hold of her own half-finished braid as she scooted aside to make room. The fourth young woman smiled as she stepped up and started a braid of her own.

 

Tim gritted his teeth and tried to ignore the four sets of hands in his hair as best he could, but...it was so soothing, and he hadn't...slept in...days, really...just one more, one more file, and...he could...lie down for...jus' a few min....

 

The ladies worked hard to stifle their laughter. "Aw, he's so cuuuuute," Stephanie whisper-squealed.

 

"He'll kill us when he wakes up," Barbara murmured with a grin, "but, geez, look at those circles under his eyes, he might have killed _himself_ if he kept going like that...."

 

"He reminds me of a pet I had once, on Tamaran," Kori mused as she cupped Tim's cheek affectionately.

 

Cassandra leaned close and took hold of her brother, lifting him in her arms and carrying him to his bed. Stephanie tucked him in as Barbara tapped out a message to Bruce and the others, letting them know that Tim was all right. Then she turned toward her friends, who showed no signs of leaving anytime soon.

 

"I could use a nap myself," Stephanie yawned, cuddling close to her boyfriend.

 

"I need to practice more," Kori remarked, making herself comfortable so she could start on another braid.

 

"Exhausted, sleeping, vulnerable," Cassandra said with a small smile. She sat on the edge of the bed and leaned against the headboard, comfortable but ready for action if necessary. "I protect."

 

"No sense in being left out," Barbara chuckled, snuggling against Tim's other side. She added in an amused mutter, "And of course the one who'll wake up buried in girls is the one who'll least appreciate it, hah."

 

At first they tried to keep their noise to a minimum for the sleeping Tim's sake, but one by one, they grew genuinely still and silent, until Cassandra was the last one awake, affectionately keeping watch over her companions.

 

o.o.o

 

A/N: I'm so bad at coming up with titles sometimes. X''D

 

I've been suffering from a depressive bout and a broken muse, desperate to write and really frustrated that nothing was _working_. (I had a good idea for Halloween that refused to cooperate; I hope the Christmas one works better....) I was thinking of bugging my friend Medli to throw Batman plunnies at me, because she is FANTASTIC at that, but then I remembered that I still have a large batch from months ago that I've barely touched. Started looking through the list and was surprised that this was the first one that "clicked" ~~because there's no Dick or Damian in it XD~~ , but it did, so here we go. Thank you so much, Medli!!! *grateful hug*


	2. Warmth

A/N: I guess I'll start collecting my canon-based Batman one-shots and vignettes here.

 

Warmth

(rough draft)

A Batman fanfic by Raberba girl

 

_Inspired by Medli45_

 

Summary: Jason has trouble staying warm at the Manor during the family's holiday get-together.

 

A/N: The original prompt was for cold Timmy, but I changed it to Jason because I've seen hints in the comics that he ~~is like me~~ isn't a fan of cold weather.

 

I wanted to use my and Medli's headcanon dog for Jason, but the fic worked a bit better without her; sorry...!

 

o.o.o

 

"Jay!" Dick exclaimed as they set up the board game on the floor, "Why do you still have your hat and jacket on?"

 

"It's _cold_ ," his brother complained.

 

Bruce looked over from the couch where he was working on his laptop. "We can turn the thermostat up--"

 

"Nooo!" several voices chorused, "It's already too hot in here!"

 

"Whatever; I'll deal," Jason grumbled, pulling his jacket more tightly around himself.

 

Alfred stepped up with a disapproving look. "Master Jason, kindly come with me upstairs for a moment."

 

By the time Dick and Tim finished explaining the rules of the game to Cassandra and Damian, Jason returned, now wearing the knitted sweater, thick sweatpants and socks, and fluffy bathrobe and slippers Alfred had dressed him in. He didn't look miserable anymore as he lay back down on the floor with the others, but he still soon curled up with his hands tucked away whenever he wasn't moving his gamepiece. Though he didn't seem bored, he wasn't showing the enthusiasm for the game that his siblings were, either.

 

"For goodness' sake." Bruce got up, taking the couch throw blanket with him, and stooped to drape it over his second son.

 

"Man," Dick laughed, "you and Dami are such coldies."

 

" _I'm_ not about to go into hibernation like Todd is," Damian said, the only other person in the room as bundled up as Jason was. (Bruce and Tim had single-layer outfits and bare feet; Dick and Cassandra wore nothing but tank tops and shorts.)

 

"That's because _you're_ cuddling with two furnaces," Jason shot back, pulling the blanket closely around himself.

 

Damian looked rather smug, tucked away as he was between Dick and Titus.

 

"Come here, boy!" Jason called, and Titus straightened to attention. "C'mere, Titus!"

 

The Great Dane twitched uncertainly, until Damian ordered, "Titus, stay." The dog, though still watching Jason almost apologetically, laid his head back down on his primary human. "Hah!"

 

"Whatever. Dumb dog...."

 

Ten minutes later, when Jason was exhaling on his fingers with the blanket hooded over his head, Tim frowned and spoke up. "Seriously, Jason, we _can_ turn the thermostat up if you're really that cold."

 

"Or I can fetch a space heater," Alfred offered.

 

"I'm _fine_!" Jason burst out, throwing the blanket off and defiantly sprawling out. "I've been through worse. Leave me alone."

 

No one dared bring up the subject again now that his mood had taken a downturn - the Wayne family had suffered too many emotionally broken holidays already; keeping up the peace and good spirits was becoming a higher priority these days.

 

Still, Jason started to shake as he lay stubbornly stretched out on his stomach, and nudged his gamepiece along whenever necessary with blue-tinged fingernails and a complete lack of interest. Just when Dick opened his mouth to risk saying something, Cassandra shifted until she was lying right on top of her brother. "Mm," Jason murmured.

 

That seemed to do the trick, especially when Alfred laid the blanket over the two of them again. Jason closed his eyes and gradually stopped shaking.

 

"Jason," Tim said a few minutes later, "it's your turn."

 

There was a pause. "Is he asleep?" Dick wondered.

 

"TODD," Damian burst out before his brothers could stop him, "MAKE YOUR MOVE."

 

"Mmmm. Shut up," Jason mumbled. "Not playin' anymore." He fell asleep bathed in warmth and love, Damian relished his increased chances of success now that there was one less rival on the gameboard, and everyone else was glad to see Jason comfortable at last. Win-win.


	3. A Grateful City: Isaiah

A Grateful City

 

Series summary: Various ordinary citizens of Gotham encounter their city's vigilantes. Vignette series.

 

Isaiah

(rough draft)

A Batman fanfic by Raberba girl

 

Summary: A little boy sees his chance to give his Christmas request a boost.

 

o.o.o

 

Six-year-old Isaiah Jones was walking home with his mother when they rounded a corner and were faced with flashing red and blue police lights. The cars were parked and silent, but officers were milling around the aftermath of whatever crime had recently happened, and Isaiah's mother tightened her hold on his hand to steer him around the scene.

 

The boy, however, caught sight of something that made him pull against her grip: a tall black figure speaking to the police commissioner, his cape stirring in the wind and his distinctive cowl silhouetted against the emergency lights. "Mom! Mom, it's _Batman_!"

 

"Isaiah--"

 

She lost her grip on him as he pulled free and ran to the man in black. He tugged eagerly on the long cape, and the dark figure turned to stare down at him. "Batman! Batman, I want a Dino-truck for Christmas!"

 

There was a long pause, as Mrs. Jones apologized profusely and the police commissioner covered his mouth to stifle a chuckle.

 

"...I'm Batman, not Santa Claus," the vigilante finally said.

 

"Okay, but you know Santa, right? Can you please tell him that Isaiah Jones wants a Dino-truck for Christmas? I've been really good this year!"

 

"............................I probably won't see Santa before Christmas. But... _if_ I do...I'll tell him."

 

"Aw! Thanks, Batman!" Isaiah hugged as much of the Dark Knight as he could reach, then took his mother's hand again and did not stop smiling all the way home.

 

o.o.o

 

A/N: I probably ought to have integrated this into one of my real Christmas fics, but I don't know for sure if those will be finished in time (especially since my muse is currently obsessed with _The Birds Who Smile_ ), so I opted to write it as a separate vignette for this series.


	4. A Grateful City: Sharon

**_A Grateful City_ ** **, a Batman fanfiction series by Raberba girl**

**_Sharon_ ** **(rough draft)**

 

Summary: Shortly before Christmas, a toy store gets an unusual customer at closing time.

 

o.o.o

 

"11:00, Sharon," the manager called.

 

The designated closer of the night grabbed the keys and headed to lock the front door of the toy shop. Just as she was starting to pull down the security grille, a dark figure tumbled out of the sky. "Wait wait wait wait wait!!!"

 

Sharon screamed as the man landed in a crouch at her feet. He waved his hands up at her and smiled disarmingly. "Sorry!"

 

"N-N- _Nightwing_?!"

 

He rose gracefully to his feet, the smile still in place and putting her at ease despite her still-pounding heart. "Hi! Yeah, I just, please, don't close yet!"

 

"Uh...."

 

"Do you still have any Tessindales?" he asked urgently. "Tessindale the ninja elf?"

 

"Y-- You mean the action figure, or the collectible statue?"

 

"The action figure. I've been looking all over _town_ this week, but everyone's out!"

 

"They're pretty popular this year." She felt her mouth stretching in a smile of her own. "Christmas shopping?"

 

"Yup! For Robin."

 

She laughed, tickled by the idea of Gotham's vigilantes doing something as mundane as Christmas shopping, and in costume, no less. "I think we've got a couple more in the back."

 

"Awesome! I know you guys are technically closed, but do you think you can bring me one? I've got money."

 

A few minutes later, Sharon and her co-workers crowded at the front windows to watch Nightwing grapple off into the night, his prize clutched in one arm.

 

"Was that really _Nightwing_?! Being a _customer_?!"

 

"He really is as hot as they say he is...."

 

"You think Robin will like it?"

 

"I dunno, I've heard the Robin these days is a total brat."

 

"Still a kid, though. Even brats can like action figures."

 

"I'd _pay_ to see Batman and them opening presents on Christmas morning like real people."

 

As Sharon went home that night, the knowledge that she had been able to do something for the Bats, to show even a tiny bit of appreciation for all they had done to protect Gotham over the years, sparked a warm glow in her heart.

 

o.o.o

 

A/N: This was the original idea I had for this series. I've got one more pre-written vignette, and a list of more plunnies left to work on. (They're not all Christmas-themed. XD)


	5. A Grateful City: Layla

**_A Grateful City_ ** **, a Batman fanfiction series by Raberba girl**

**_Layla_ ** **(rough draft)**

 

Summary: A young woman finally gets a chance to thank the boy who saved her years ago.

 

o.o.o

 

Her first instinct was to scream when she saw the man lurking in the entrance nook for her and her next door neighbor's apartments, but at second glance, she recognized the helmet. It was one of those vigilantes, not a criminal. "R-Red Hood?!"

 

"Just carry on, I'll be gone in a minute," he snapped, barely looking up from the injury on his calf that he was treating.

 

Layla took a deep breath. The chances were slim that she'd ever get a chance to actually speak to any of Gotham's vigilantes again. "Do you...do you happen to know who the Robin was in 2007?"

 

He froze ominously.

 

"I don't need to know his secret identity or anything!" she said hastily. "I just wanted.... Do you know him? Is there any chance you could get a message to him?"

 

"...That was me. I was Robin in 2007."

 

"Wait-- _You_ used to be Robin?!" She knew that Red Hood was, at least sort of, an ally of Batman, but she'd never dreamed that the gun-toting vigilante with the most violent reputation of the lot had actually been a _Robin_ , much less the one she remembered.

 

"You got a message or not?" he said defensively.

 

"Please don't be mad at me! I'm _really_ glad to meet you. I--" She drew in another steadying breath. "When I was eleven, our house burned down. Robin was the one who found me and led me out, and calmed me down, and stayed with me until the ambulance came. I-I just wanted to thank you. All this time...I still think about it a lot.... Just-- Thank you. Thank you for saving me, and for being so nice to me afterward."

 

He fidgeted for a moment, then tugged his boot back over his freshly bandaged leg and stood up. "You're welcome," he said awkwardly, before vanishing into the shadows.

 

Layla exhaled, and her heart felt lighter as she unlocked the door of her apartment.

 

o.o.o

 

A/N: That date was very vaguely guesstimated. X'''D


	6. Gotham's Knight

Gotham's Knight

(rough draft)

A Batman fanfic by Raberba girl

 

Summary: Bruce Wayne starts falling into a bout of depression, so Gotham City has a talk with her favorite son.

 

o.o.o

 

Bruce Wayne had long ago learned the art of self-control. He had a firm grip on everything from his body to his ki to his thoughts. He was perfectly capable of forcing himself through his usual workout regimen even though he felt so much more tired than usual, and dumping the usual number of bound, battered criminals on the roof of the GCPD even though he felt like strangling them to death instead, and keeping his mind on The Mission when what he really wanted to do was dig a grave for himself next to his parents' and then fall asleep in it forever.

 

_'It never ends. Never any mercy or respite. It will always be this way, until the day I die, because any bright spot of hope or joy that happens to venture into my life is always extinguished.'_

 

The Mission. Work. Training. Breathe, and hunt, and fight; do not think unnecessary, counterproductive thoughts.

 

As always, his family was what suffered most during these times.

 

"Master Bruce, I must  _insist_ . I know for a fact that you've eaten nothing for the past seventy-two hours."

 

"Just leave it there on the table."

 

"And come back to find that you've either not touched it or fed it to the bats? No. I will remain right here until you have consumed every bit of that meal."

 

Bruce was losing patience. "Then you'll be waiting a long time, Alfred," he snapped.

 

Sometimes it was the animals, Titus yelping in pain when Bruce accidentally stepped on his paw and could spare no time to comfort him, or Alfred just barely managing to flee out of the computer chair before a preoccupied Batman sat on him.

 

Sometimes it was Damian, shouting at his father and then storming away to his room to hide his hurt at being ignored or unfairly scolded.

 

Dick and Tim hadn't messaged in over a week - they knew to steer clear when Bruce got like this. He missed them, and was irritated with them, and grateful that they were staying out of his way.

 

When he thought about them at all. Which wasn't often. Except whenever he thought about the sort of family he could have had with them, in another life, in a world where he and Dick didn't fight so much and Jason had never died and Tim had never been rejected and Damian's mother had only love in her heart, rather than madness and cruel ambition. A world where they didn't need to patrol the filthy streets at night and send filthy people to jail, who only cycled through the system and then back onto the streets again even worse than before.

 

The Mission had always been doomed to failure. No matter how hard Batman fought, he could never truly win. The darkness would always be there, always several steps ahead, always ready to strike back and overcome whatever tiny fragments of light he managed to find. No happiness ever lasted.

 

That open grave was looking more inviting every day.

 

o.o.o.o.o

 

That night, Batman perched at the highest point of the city, looking out over it. Bright lights and blood, shouts of laughter and screams of pain, good people just trying to survive and bad people determined to deny them even that....

 

A woman alighted on the spire beside him, dark wings extending from her back and black silk barely covering her shapely body, fangs in her mouth and blood on her hands. Her heart was rotting in her chest, visible through the gaping wound in her flesh. "Hello, darling," she said warmly.

 

Because this was a dream, he knew that she was Gotham. "What do you want?" he snapped.

 

"I've been worried about you."

 

"You never worry about me. All you care about is chewing me up and spitting me back out - laughing at me and placing bets with  _your_ Rogues to see how long it takes me to stagger back to my feet this time."

 

"Bruce, you know I do no such thing. I care about you very much, you know."

 

He turned to glare at her. "Don't lie to me. I  _amuse_ you."

 

She met his look squarely. They were standing comfortably on a rooftop now, no longer in precarious perches. "Sometimes, yes. But I do love you, Bruce - I love both Bruce Wayne and Batman,  _dearly_ , for nurturing my needy children by day and protecting them by night. It distresses me whenever you're depressed, and this bout has been particularly alarming."

 

"I am not depressed."

 

"Suicidal thoughts are a glaringly obvious tip-off, dear."

 

"I am not suicidal."

 

"Wanting to quietly stop existing counts. Before, you were at least destructive and lively, but this time...it's like you've given up completely. You can't do that, Bruce."

 

He threw a batarang at her. It came to rest in her hair as gently as a butterfly, then stayed there like a hair ornament.

 

"Well," Gotham amended, not even acknowledging the interruption, "I suppose you  _could_ . But I know you won't do that, Batman, because you love me too much to abandon me."

 

She was infuriating. "You're not human, so it technically won't be murder if I kill you."

 

She smiled again. "That sounds promising. Will you try?"

 

"..........No." He was too tired.

 

"See, this is what I mean," she said, and there was sympathy in her voice. "Darling, I want to help. I really do."

 

"Do you?" he snarled. "Then KEEP Joker and the others locked up where they belong,  _stop_ driving dozens more people insane every month, and stop encouraging the petty criminals! It's  _too much_ , Gotham! I'm only a man, and this battle is a losing one!"

 

"Well...yes."

 

His silence spoke volumes.

 

"Dearest," she murmured, "I am very ill. I wasn't always, but first the earthly demons infected me...and then the unearthly ones did. Unless someone who loves me as much as you do gets the power to fix me, I will never be healed."

 

"Like I said," he muttered, "I'm only a man."

 

"I'm not blaming you. Bruce, do you have any idea how hard it was to find you? In all the centuries I've existed, only you, out of all my millions of children, have ever been kind enough  _and_ mad enough  _and_ strong enough to be my Knight. You've even raised up more little knights who don't have to be insane in order to fight for me! They couldn't have done it without you and your shadows guiding them."

 

"You're saying only someone who's insane could be Batman?" The moment the words left his mouth, he winced. Only a crazy person  _would_ be Batman...he'd walked right into that one.

 

Yet Gotham didn't treat it as a joke. "I'm mad, too, dearest. My madness seeps into my children, corrupting or hurting them as I am. Like I said - only you have ever been so kind and strong that you continue to drag me toward the light, even though such a task is impossible."

 

"So you're saying I should quit."

 

"Batman. Look how sick I am now." She opened her arms, as if to present the wound in her chest that continuously oozed black liquid. "If you give up, the rest of me will waste away as well."

 

He could see it in his mind's eye - supple limbs turning gaunt and brittle, bright eyes dimming, lustrous hair falling out. For all of Gotham's faults, she  _was_ at least still beautiful, in some ways.

 

"And all my people with me, instead of only some of them."

 

"....So I press on, then," he said bitterly. "Fight until my body falls apart, work myself to death and misery so that others can be marginally more happy."

 

"I do try to compensate you, when I'm strong enough," she said, a little defensively. "Lucius isn't the  _only_ reason you're so wealthy. And don't you like all the children I've given you? I know how much you love children."

 

A cold suspicion crept up his spine. "Children you tormented until they had to flee to someone like  _me_ for safety? Why couldn't you have given me children without breaking them first?"

 

"I  _tried_ ! That was  _your_ fault - you refuse to spread your seed no matter how many beautiful women I offer you, so I had to find other ways to get babies for you!"

 

"What ways?" he demanded.

 

"Don't act so surprised, Bruce. If you won't make your own children, then you have to adopt displaced ones, and children do not become displaced unless bad things happen to them first."

 

" _What ways_ ?"

 

She sighed. "You know. I gave Tony a little extra nudge, and the Todds, and Boomerang, so that the little ones would become available for you, and I convinced the al Ghul woman--"

 

"You  _killed_ them! You killed them all just so I could take their children!"

 

"Yes," she huffed. "Like I said, I'm crazy. Sometimes I'm just the kind of crazy where I sit quietly for a week and hate myself, other times I'm the kind of obsessive stalker crazy who wants to eat you - thank you for not letting me, by the way - and other times I'm the kind of raging psychopath crazy who thinks all the blood Joker and the others feed me is delicious. I can't always control it."

 

"You don't deserve to be fought for."

 

"Maybe I don't. But you still fight for me, because you love me."

 

"I hate you. You try to break me every night. You hurt my  _family_ ."

 

"Why don't you leave, then?"

 

He did not answer. He never felt quite right when he wasn't in Gotham, and the few times he'd tried to leave on a more long-term basis, he found it intolerable. It was as if a piece of his heart was part of the city itself.

 

"Yes, Bruce," she whispered. "Right here." She held her wound open a little wider, revealing a spot of blood-red, healthy tissue pulsing gently within the rot. "In some ways, you and I are one. You can never find a woman you feel right settling down with because I am already your true lover."

 

He couldn't deny it. "So there's no escape, then. I fight the losing fight until I break completely. There's no hope and nothing to look forward to."

 

"Do you think that Superman or Diana of Themyscira, for all their powers and determination, could keep this up for long? They are just as strong of heart as you are, but you continue to endure even where they would fail. They could force me clean if they were persistent, but they can never heal me - I would simply spawn more and more madness until they lose their faith in humanity.

 

"You're different, Batman. You never force me to be good, or hold me to a standard I can never reach. You give each of my children a choice, and even if they choose darkness, you never lose hope that they  _could_ have made a different choice - that they still might, someday. You let yourself fall into madness so that you would understand exactly how hard it is for us to keep our eyes on the light. You prove, every day and every night, that such a choice is still possible."

 

"...I'm tired, Gotham."

 

"I know, sweetheart. I know. That's why I'm so worried. If you break... _when_ you break...what will happen to me? That's why I had to come see you, because I'm afraid you'll leave me, and I'm scared."

 

She was crying now, and her body was a child's rather than a woman's, and Bruce found it so easy now to put his arms around her and hold her close. She nestled into him, making a little sigh of contentment and staining his suit with the black liquid seeping from her heart.

 

He found it easier to think of her like this, as a terminally ill child who treasured each additional day of life because of it. Something like that, he could fight for. "Gotham," he murmured, "don't hurt anymore children for my sake. I'd rather have no family at all than children who suffered because of me."

 

"Okay," she mumbled, her fingers tightening in his cape.

 

"I'll keep fighting. I'll keep you alive until the day when someone comes along who  _can_ heal you."

 

"Maybe." She kissed his cheek. "Whether that day ever comes or not, you have my love forever, Batman."

 

o.o.o.o.o

 

Bruce opened his eyes. Sunlight was streaming through the windows, and even though it had been just a dream, he felt...better than he had in weeks.

 

He got up and leisurely readied himself for the day, and wandered in search of what little of his family remained at home. They were both in the library, Damian reading on a couch as Alfred dusted, quietly keeping each other company. Titus, curled up on the floor, raised his head at the appearance of the master of the house.

 

"Good morning," Bruce greeted.

 

"It's after noon," they replied in unison. Alfred smiled; Damian blushed and looked away. "You look well, sir," Alfred said, sounding surprised and pleased.

 

"I'm hungry."

 

Alfred looked even more pleased. "I'll bring you something directly." On his way out of the room, Bruce reached to clasp his arm for a moment. They shared a wordless, warm look, then Bruce released him and Alfred continued on.

 

Bruce wandered closer to his son. "What are you reading?"

 

"The first installment of a series Kent wouldn't shut up about. It's drivel."

 

Bruce smiled at the sight of Damian holding a book that had been written for his age group, even if he wasn't enjoying it. "Think of it as research. It's sometimes convenient to be familiar with popular culture."

 

Damian set the book aside and studied him. "...Pennyworth was right. You look...refreshed."

 

Bruce sat down beside him and put an arm around his shoulders. Damian made no attempt to shake it off. "Among other things, I remembered that life is short and that kids grow up too fast. I missed out on ten years of your childhood; it's stupid of me to get so wrapped up in myself that I miss even more. Is there anything you'd like to do today?"

 

"You mean...together? With you?" Damian asked cautiously.

 

"Yes."

 

"Hmph." The condescending scoff couldn't hide the spark of hope that had ignited in Damian's eyes. "I can think of a few things."

 

"Just say the word." He'd have to remember to invite his other children over for dinner soon, as well. He missed them more than he would ever admit.

 

"And we'll have a better patrol tonight, right?"

 

"Better?"

 

"One where you're the one reining me in like you're supposed to, instead of the other way around."

 

Bruce tugged him a little closer. "Yes. I'm sorry for the...mood I've been in lately. I really am all right now."

 

"Good."

 

They sat quietly together a little longer. Bruce contemplated this moment with his son that he loved, in the home and the city that he loved. Each of them was one more treasure to savor in a life where no ray of light could be taken for granted.

 

o.o.o

 

A/N: This idea randomly hit me this morning. It's been so long since I've drafted anything successfully, it felt good to finally write something that worked.

 

If you're following my other Batman fics,  _The Birds Who Smile_ is still a while from being updated - I haven't officially started the next chapter yet, but I finally got around to working on my notes, and I've been playing with some imagination drafts.  _A World With Happily Ever Afters_ is a mess, and will need some untangling before I can continue. DX There are no issues with  _In the Birdcage_ , I'm just procrastinating on that one because it's not fun to write.


	7. The Birds Who Smile: Bat Weds Cat

The Birds Who Smile: Bat Weds Cat

(rough draft)

A Batman fanfic by Raberba girl

 

Summary: My headcanon for Bruce & Selina's wedding, including the children from my fic _The Birds Who Smile_.

 

A/N: This fic is crossposted on all my sites, but in different collections. Ask me if you can't find it on AO3 or FFN (or DA).

 

More notes at the end of the fic.

 

o.o.o

 

"Do you need something, Kyle?" Damian asked coldly without looking up. His father's fiancée had been standing behind his desk for a full minute without saying anything, and he refused to look up from his work or turn around.

 

"...All right, I'm crap at this, so let's just skip to the part where I give you a gift so you'll pretend to tolerate me."

 

Damian's eyes narrowed. "What sort of gift?"

 

In answer, Selina set something down on his desk, right on top of his notepad.

 

Damian stared. The creature stood uncertainly on the notepad for a minute, then started to pick its way across the desk, sniffing at things as it went, taking an experimental nip at a pencil. Damian wanted nothing more than to cup both hands around that hunk of warm, calico fluff and rub his cheek against it and feed it and keep it safe forever, but he knew that reaching for the kitten would also mean accepting the woman who had gifted it to him.

 

"...I suppose you'll want me to start calling you 'Mother,'" he finally said.

 

She leaned against the desk as if conversing casually with a friend. "You can call me whatever you want, kiddo. Within reason, obviously. I know there's someone you already call 'Mother,' and no matter what I think of her, I'm not going to make you deny what she means to you."

 

Slowly, Damian reached out a hand and set his fingertips on the kitten's fur, scratching gently. It whirled and started butting his hand for more. "It is a handsome creature."

 

"She was the best of the litter."

 

"Just like me," Damian asserted. He cupped his hand under the kitten, steadying her with the other, and lifted her to his cheek. "Very well. I accept your bribe, 'Mom.'"

 

She kissed the top of his head. "Good. Then I'll see you later, Damian."

 

He barely noticed her leave. He got so preoccupied playing with Bribe that the call to come to dinner hours later came as a surprise.

 

o.o.o.o.o

 

"So." Superman leaned on the back of Batman's chair, watching him type up an after-mission Justice League report. Then he thought that Batman might be offended and straightened up hurriedly. He needed to not be on the Dark Knight's bad side for this. "Have you chosen a best man yet?"

 

After the words left his mouth, he wanted to wince. No matter how casually he asked it, the fact that he was asking at all made what he actually wanted to know pretty obvious, given their relationship.

 

"If you mean, am I going to ask you to be my best man, the answer is no," Batman said shortly.

 

Superman immediately fell back on his practiced efforts to keep all trace of disappointment out of his voice. "No, I mean, I was just curious. Obviously you have a lot of friends, I mean, you have a reputation as a loner but you actually kind of have a ton of friends, it's totally understandable that you wouldn't pick, that, uh, it makes sense that you'd have plenty of people in mind to be your best man, I was just curious--"

 

Batman abruptly stood, shoved a file into Superman's hands, and stalked off, all without looking at him.

 

Superman stared at the topmost page, which was an application for ordination. "Are you--?! Batman, come back here, are you asking me to officiate at your wedding?!"

 

"Everything you need is in the file," Batman snapped, punching in a Zeta-Tube code.

 

"You know you didn't actually _ask_ me, but I'd be DELIGHTED to be your officiant, Bruce!" Superman shouted after his friend just before Batman Zeta'd back to Earth. He looked down at the papers in his hands, unable to stop beaming.

 

o.o.o.o.o

 

"I suppose we'll have to have two ceremonies," Bruce remarked, looking at the draft of the guest list.

 

Selina raised an eyebrow. "Why? It's a small wedding, and everyone we want to be there either already knows you're Batman or can keep pretending to be clueless."

 

"I doubt that Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy would find it in their best interests to feign cluelessness."

 

"Bruce. They've known who you are for ages."

 

Bruce did not speak or indicate any surprise in his expression or body language, but she sensed it anyway.

 

"Harley never told because she knows what would probably happen to your family, and she always had a hard time with kids getting hurt even she was at her worst with _him_. And Pam may not exactly be your biggest fan, but she _does_ grudgingly admit that Wayne Enterprises does a reasonable job - by meat people standards - of self-policing its environmental impact. She'd rather that everyone become plant people and subsist on sunlight, but short of that, she knows you try, and how strongly you'd retaliate if she revealed your identity. She's never had any real reason to betray you, and even if she did, she already could."

 

"...One ceremony, then."

 

o.o.o.o.o

 

They had originally planned for John to be the ring bearer. That changed a few days before the wedding, when the birds were poking through shopping bags as Alfred helped Bruce and Selina unload and organize the latest wedding purchases. Peter was very taken with the substitute rings sewed to their silky pillow, and had already gotten the set out of its packaging by the time any of the adults noticed.

 

"Peter," Selina said coaxingly, trying to get it away from him before he started chewing on it, "if you let us take it now, then we'll let you carry it at the wedding, and you can keep it afterward. How does that sound?"

 

"My rring."

 

"The rings are for the wedding. But _after_ the wedding, you can keep the rings if you're a good boy. But you have to be good and give me the rings now, and then I'll give them back to you at the wedding."

 

"Peter, look!" Jack said, holding out his phone. Peter was so interested in the photos his little brother had taken of him playing with the rings that he failed to stop Selina from whisking the pillow out of his hands and passing it to Alfred for safekeeping. " _CROW_!!"

 

"Later, Peter," Bruce said quickly. "You can have it later, if you are patient."

 

_"I don't like being patient!"_

 

"You can have something _now_ instead of the rings, and then you can have the rings _later_ , at the wedding."

 

Peter calculated. "...I want fixx b, book'ss."

 

"All right. We can go work in the library once we clean up here."

 

Selina reached to caress John's hair as he picked curiously at the bow on a package of placards. "Johnny, are you okay being a flower boy with Jack instead?"

 

_"Flower?"_

 

"Peter will carry the rings, and you and Jack will scatter the flower petals for me."

 

_"Roses??"_

 

"Yes, we're going to use rose petals."

 

_"NOT RED, I DON'T LIKE IT, DO NOT CUT RED BLOOD."_

 

"They'll be white petals, kitten. Not red."

 

_"White roses."_

 

"Yes, your rose petals will be white."

 

_"Good."_

 

o.o.o.o.o

 

The wedding was held at Wayne Manor. Since Selina had no family and very few friends in attendance, the seating wasn't split. Though Bruce had drawn the line at Bat-Cow being included in the ceremony or positioned where she might produce cowpat photobombs, she _had_ been brought off to the side with a long tether, and was currently grazing.

 

The guests mingled before the ceremony, chatting or making introductions as needed. Jim Gordon, one of the few ordinary people milling through the sea of superheroes (some in their secret identities, some in full costume, and others simply masked), made a point to remark several times that Bruce Wayne sure had a lot of interesting friends thanks to his financial connections to Batman, Inc. and the Justice League. Lucius Fox and his family, some of them also odd ones out among all the literal or figurative domino masks, didn't need to insist on such a strong pretense, but they, too, avoided any speculation on why Bruce Wayne would have made these particular selections for a relatively short guest list.

 

At last, everyone took their seats, and the processional music started. Clark came first and took his place at the front, trying to keep his smile under control so Bruce wouldn't complain at him later for being too happy. Next came the groom escorting a dignified but proud Alfred, who was seated in a place of honor in the front row. Bruce, finding his face close to Alfred's as he started to straighten, impulsively brushed a discreet kiss against his father's forehead, and Alfred gently squeezed his hand. Bruce stepped up to his place, stoically refusing to even glance at his best friend's joyful expression.

 

Since all of Bruce's older children were his attendants, they far outnumbered the bridesmaids. Dick, as the best man, proceeded first by himself, carrying Alfred the cat, whom he carefully handed off to his human namesake at the end of the aisle. Next came Jason and Tim together, then Cassandra and Duke.

 

Damian was the last groomsman, escorting both the family dogs. While Titus behaved beautifully unleashed, Ace's ears were pricked in curiosity and his eyes were wandering. Alfred, the only person he reliably obeyed, rose up to sign commands, and Ace managed to make it to the old man's side without trotting away or bolting ahead of his companions. Once Damian had settled the dogs with nice big chew treats at Alfred's feet, he moved to join his siblings. All six attendants stood at their father's side in a tiered formation, Cassandra's long dress matching her brothers' tuxedos.

 

There was no maid of honor present, since the one Selina would have chosen had sacrificed her freedom for the sake of her best friend's marriage, and Selina was not about to replace Holly. Pamela came down the aisle first, followed by Harley, their bridesmaid dresses short but less revealing than expected. Isis was transferred from Pamela's arms to a decorated white cat carrier that matched Alfred's and was filled, like his, with food and quiet toys to keep her occupied. Other than Harley licking her lips and Pamela smirking a little in appreciation of the handsome groom's attendants, the bridesmaids behaved themselves.

 

Much better than the children did, as it turned out. John had performed wonderfully during the rehearsal with practice leaves, but now, he proceeded serenely down the entire aisle without making any move to fulfill his role. When he reached the front row, he turned around, set down his basket, scooped out two fistfuls of flower petals, and flung them into the air so that they cascaded down upon him and his alight expression in an elegant shower.

 

The guests barely had time to laugh and aww before Peter, delighted that people were apparently throwing things now, hurled the ring pillow high into the air.

 

"Go long!" Harley shouted gleefully. Clark made an instinctive move to rise up and grab it, but Bruce, without looking, nudged him hard. Pretty much everyone present knew that Bruce was Batman, but Superman still had a secret identity to protect from some of the guests, and he smiled sheepishly at his near slip-up. It was Jason who caught the pillow and then brandished it like a football.

 

"NO! BAD BOY!" Jack shrieked at Peter. His outraged scolding in bird language was echoed by an equally outraged Damian in human language.

 

Dick's arrhythmic clapping from the front captured their attention. At Bruce's sternly signed _"Come here NOW,"_ John and Peter galloped to cling to their oldest brother.

 

Jack resumed his trek down the aisle, strewing petals with utmost dignity and correctness. He then took his place with the rest of his family, smiling when Damian praised pointedly (and louder than intended), " _You_ did well, Drake." Almost everyone laughed again, and a pink-faced Tim made a quickly aborted move to facepalm. Jason handed the ring pillow back to his young counterpart, who immediately started to play with it.

 

Then the music changed, and the guests rose to their feet. A moment later, Selina made her entrance. Bruce's intense stare caught hers, and then they were aware of nothing else as the space between them grew smaller and smaller. Bruce reached out sooner than had been rehearsed, stepping forward to meet her and draw her up beside him and all the people he loved most. Selina's thoughts were so full of her soon-to-be husband that she barely remembered to hand her bouquet to Harley. Pamela watched, cool and unconvinced and polite, but Harley's delighted, fond grin was now as big as Superman's.

 

"Welcome, everyone, to this wonderful celebration," Clark began when the music had stopped, clapping a hand against Bruce's arm to express how happy for and proud of his friend he was. "Friends and family, we are gathered here today to witness the union of Bruce Thomas Wayne and Selina Kyle...."

 

It was a fairly short ceremony, partially for the birds' sake (Jack was riveted and John was daydreaming in Dick's arms, but Tim and Duke were subtly trying to distract Peter from gnawing on the substitute rings or prying beads off the pillow), and partially because an event like this was practically begging for some sort of dramatic interruption.

 

The ceremony, however, went smoothly. No uninvited supervillains burst onto the scene, no aliens chose that moment to invade, no exes came storming in. Bruce almost wondered if he was dreaming when he realized that Clark was asking him if he intended to take the woman he loved as his wife, and nothing was standing in the way of him saying 'I do'...so he said it. "I do." There was a quick, quiet whoop from Jason, followed by a much less quick or quiet birdcall from Peter, stage-whispered scolding from Jack and Damian, and then shushing from Dick and Tim.

 

Clark, smiling fondly, waited until the commotion died down before asking for the rings. Dick started, then scooted John over to lean against Cassandra instead so that he could rummage in his jacket pocket for the real rings, which he handed over. "The circular shape of the wedding ring signifies the unending nature of love--"

 

He paused, and everyone looked around, trying to figure out what machine was breaking down. Bruce was the one who first realized what the noise was. "Damian...did you bring your kitten?" Behind his back, Selina made an approving thumbs-up.

 

"............Bribe is part of the family, too," Damian said, red-faced, then fished the tiny creature out of his jacket pocket. Dick shook his head with an amused smile, Jason burst into laughter, Tim shut his eyes in a long-suffering way, and Harley squealed about how cute the kitten was.

 

"It's a cat, Daddy! It's a little baby cat!" Jack announced. John plucked Bribe out of Damian's indignant hands and gently rubbed her against his cheek.

 

"Hey, guys, I think Dad wants to finish getting married, so let's all shut up now, okay?" Dick suggested mildly, patting Damian's shoulder to calm him.

 

Two vows later, Bruce and Selina were husband and wife. Clark made the pronouncement, the couple moved to kiss, and Jack, unable to contain his excitement, bounded in front of them and shrieked to the guests, both arms raised in an 'Up!' gesture, "Daddy married! Be happy!!" Everyone burst into laughter, which soon turned to cheers and applause. Ace started barking in excitement, followed by a couple of uncertain woofs from Titus. Bruce hoisted Jack up onto his hip and leaned to kiss Selina again, who then smiled at Jack and tugged him close to give him a kiss, too. Jack stuck close even after he was set down, beaming as proudly as if he'd arranged the whole wedding himself.

 

Harley, almost as excited as Jack, bounced over to glomp Dick before practically dancing in the wake of the newly married couple. Pamela followed more sedately. Dick signed a quick explanation to John, who was looking amiably confused about all the noise, before retreating down the aisle himself. John and Peter ended up trotting after him like puppies, and he put an arm around each of them as he walked.

 

"Is that seriously how Tim would act if he'd been raised different?" Jason was laughing in the meantime, gesturing toward Jack. Tim, who would not have thought so but couldn't argue with the evidence, blushed again and tried to think of a sufficiently sarcastic reply.

 

"Everyone is happy," Cassandra sighed in contentment.

 

"They _ruined_ it, I _knew_ the children shouldn't have been in the wedding party," Damian was complaining, then looked taken aback when Duke said that ceremony had actually gone pretty well and then asked to hold the kitten. "Very well, but be _careful_ with her, Thomas."

 

"Dude, I'm not the one who had her stuffed in a pocket."

 

Bruce, with one arm around his new wife and his other hand clasped with his youngest son's, made his way through the cheering crowd under a rain of rose petals. It wasn't until his attendants started joining him that he realized how widely he was smiling.

 

o.o.o

 

**A/N: If you're not familiar with TBWS - this fic is set in my AU** _**The Birds Who Smile** _ **, so you can find out about John, Peter, & Jack by reading that fic.**

**If you** _ **are**_ **familiar with TBWS - one of the changes I'm going to make in later drafts is to have Damian call at least some of his older siblings by their (full) given names so that it won't be confusing for him to call the baby birds by their original surnames. I don't know exactly when this fic takes place, I'm thinking roughly a year after the birds' rescue. I don't know yet if I'll be able to include Ace in TBWS or not (I didn't know until recently that Ace is a current Wayne pet rather than a former one), but I figured it couldn't hurt to include him here. The reason this is a side-story rather than part of the main story is that I want to keep the fic as gen as possible on AO3, though I might later decide to make this an excised scene instead (not sure yet). I'm sorry about the hiatus (for real this time!), but all the wedding stuff means that I haven't had a chance to make much progress on my writing.** Even now, I still haven't cleaned up from the wedding, and now the air conditioner's leaking into my room and making life even more complicated; blargh.... No idea yet when I'll be able to resume work on TBWS, but I hope you enjoyed this side-story in the meantime.

 

I've had the idea for Bribe the kitten for a long time, but I wasn't planning to include it in the TBWSverse until my youngest sister's recent wedding. Watching my toddler niece be an adorably hilarious flower girl made me wonder how Bruce's wedding might go if his babiest birds were involved, and it gave me the chance to use all my other wedding headcanons, too. (I was originally going to wait impatiently for the canon wedding to take place, but then I looked at what's been published so far and realized that the whole BatCat wedding arc is basically just going to be normal comic book stuff, with a couple of pages' worth of nods to the wedding aspect. X'''D)

 

In America, marriage laws vary from state to state. There are at least two states that have a process for laypeople to perform a marriage ceremony on a one-time basis, but most states require an officiant who's a member of the clergy, a judge, etc. There are several sites that offer free or low-cost routes to legal ordination, usually for the purpose of conducting a marriage ceremony (though ordination will also allow the person to conduct other religious ceremonies and start a ministry if they wish). At least one state does not recognize such people as clergy unless they have a genuine congregation or ministry, but most states do. If all else fails, I assume that a couple could have whatever unofficial ceremony and officiant they want, and additionally have a courthouse wedding ceremony that will be the legally recognized one.


	8. A Bat and His Cats

A Bat and His Cats

(rough draft)

A Batman fanfic by Raberba girl

 

Summary: What if Bruce Wayne adopted cats instead of children?

 

o.o.o

 

Bruce was forced to wake up two hours earlier then he had to, because his most ornery cat had decided to sit on his face. "Jasooooon," Bruce groaned, trying to shove the brat away.

 

At this sign of life, the warm weight on Bruce's chest didn't move but started up its usual diesel engine purring. "Yes, good morning, Dick." Bruce tried to go back to sleep, but Jason was now making his enormously obnoxious _"FEED ME NOW"_ meows as he paced forcefully across Bruce. On top of that, needle-sharp kitten teeth were pouncing and biting at his fingers as if Damian hoped that maybe _this_ time they had morphed into his breakfast. "Uuuuuuuuugggggggghhhhhh...."

 

Bruce finally gave up and dragged himself out of bed, dislodging cats. "I hate you all."

 

"Mrraghn?" Duke vocalized.

 

"No, you're right, I love you all, even Jason, but you're still monsters." Bruce went to the bathroom and filled Jason's bowl, which the cat immediately plunged his head into and guarded zealously. The second bowl nearby was filled with kibble as well, and just like every single freaking morning, Damian charged at it, then mewed up at his human with a deeply betrayed expression. "Damian, you _know_ the bathroom is kibble only. You'll get wet food in the kitchen later."

 

The black kitten continued to stare up at him accusingly until an older yellow cat barged past him, sending him sprawling. "Stephanie!"

 

Ignoring him, she plunked her head into the bowl. Although she gobbled as enthusiastically as Jason, unlike him, she didn't mind when other cats edged around her to snatch a few nibbles.

 

Bruce filled the third bowl with fresh water, saying wearily, "Dick, _please_ ," when the gray-blue cat wound lovingly around his ankles, forcing Bruce to step very carefully.

 

The cats lounged or played around the bathroom as he showered, with Barbara as usual enjoying a shower of her own, following Bruce into the stall so she could sit in the warm spray from the showerhead. Damian, also as usual, had scrambled into the stall as well to prove he could do anything the older cats could do, and was now pressed into the farthest corner, yowling in displeasure. "You _know_ there's lots of water in here," Bruce mumbled in exasperation. "Why do you keep coming in every morning...?"

 

When he finished and stepped out, he waited for the cats to shake themselves, then set down a fluffy towel for Babs to roll herself dry on, carefully scrubbed most of the water off Damian, then set the bedraggled kitten down in front of Dick to finish the job. The older cat happily started grooming Damian, putting out a paw to hold him down when the kitten attempted to worm free.

 

Bruce shaved and combed his hair. As soon as he was ready to go downstairs, the cats, who had all been pretending to be bored and casual, immediately leaped up and followed him in an eager cluster.

 

"Good morning, Alfred."

 

"Good morning, Master Bruce," the butler replied, glancing up from his cooking.

 

While he worked on Bruce's breakfast, Bruce himself worked on the cats' breakfast. Once again, he had to carefully navigate around Dick practically gluing himself to Bruce's ankles, and now it was Damian making obnoxious _"FEED ME NOW"_ noises at him. "Damian, you have to _wait_ , because I have to warm it up. If I give it to you _now_ like you're asking, you're going to turn up your tiny pink nose at it and wonder why it's cold and gross."

 

Although Damian's mews were by far the most annoying, most of the other cats were also practically singing with anticipation behind him. Bruce finally started setting down bowls of warm, moist, meaty food.

 

Damian was the first to reach a bowl, but was immediately bumped aside by Barbara and Stephanie, who both seemed happy to share a bowl. The kitten shrieked in indignation and in turn shoved Dick away from the second bowl. The older cat merely sidled around to settle into munching again. Tim and Duke were amiably sharing the third bowl, and Jason, having already eaten his fill for the morning, had been long gone since before Bruce's shower. Tim soon stepped away to take a long drink of water, and his place was taken by the soundless Cassandra.

 

Bruce, meanwhile, was chewing his way through his own breakfast. Tim leaped up to the table and stepped lightly around the serving dishes. "Tim, get off the table," Bruce mumbled absently.

 

Taking no notice, the cat sat down near Bruce's plate and started batting at the newspaper Bruce was trying to read. "Stop that."

 

_bat bat. bat. bat bat._

 

"Tim."

 

"Mrow."

 

Dick hopped into Bruce's lap, turned around a couple of times, then settled down, purring. Bruce winced and pushed the cat into a more comfortable position before scratching him under the chin. Dick raised his head, leaning into the touch, and stretched luxuriously. "Did you finish eating, Dickie?" The cat purred harder.

 

When Bruce was ready to head out to the car, he took the WE cat carrier down from its shelf. As always, Tim ran up eagerly, and Bruce felt bad about pushing him away. "I'm sorry, Timmy, but I can't take you." Tim _loved_ going to Wayne Enterprises, but was so inquisitive and unintentionally destructive and distracting that Bruce had had to give up. Dick made a much better office therapy cat, but ever since Damian's introduction to the household, the kitten pitched a fit and tore up the manor when bereft of his favorite companion all day, so Bruce had had to start leaving Dick at home, too. Cass tended to be difficult to find sometimes, and troublemaker Jason was out of the question, so Bruce usually rotated between Barbara, Stephanie, and Duke. Today was Duke's turn. "Duke! Let's go to work."

 

The young brown cat streeeetched, made a show of idly considering, then ambled over and stepped into the carrier. "Good boy." Bruce spent another minute crouched on the floor, scratching furry heads and stroking fluffy backs. "I'll see you all later. Be good." His 'children' meowed at him. "Goodbye, Alfred."

 

"Have a good day, sir."

 

o.o.o.o.o

 

It was an average day, decently productive with no crises. As usual, Duke spent half his time lounging around Bruce's office and the other half ambling throughout the floor, allowing himelf to be petted or held by office workers who needed a break (or a listening ear). At the end of the day, Bruce collected him, fed him a treat, and scratched behind his ears before putting him back in the cat carrier and driving home.

 

As soon as the car was parked and Duke was let out, Dick and Damian came running up. Dick swirled gracefully up Bruce's body until he was perched on the man's shoulders; Damian meowed insistently at the human's feet until Bruce picked him up and started caressing him between his hands. The kitten struggled to get free (he didn't quite manage it), but the lack of complaining indicated that he felt soothed.

 

"Time for training," Bruce remarked. He went down to the Batcave and changed into a set of gi before starting on his usual training regimen. Dick always beautifully imitated his flips and rolls during gymnastics; Cass slinked curiously around (and sometimes over) him during his kata; Jason liked to canonball off him as if legitimately attempting to throw off his aim during target practice; Stephanie liked to gallop alongside him when he did sprints; Duke often sat on his back while he did push-ups; Tim made his way across the bar and stepped over Bruce's fingers during pull-ups; and Barbara gazed at him with an unimpressed look while he was lifting weights. Damian simply followed him around the entire time, making ratchety _"Pay attention to me!!"_ noises.

 

The kitten finally got his wish. When Bruce was finished meditating, he spent a few minutes caressing the content Dick and sulky Damian, who had both settled on his lap while he cooled down. The other cats trotted over and meowed to be petted, too, so Bruce did his best to stroke six cats with only two hands. Then he got up and went over to give Tim his share, since the small tabby was too busy trying to take apart a ball of yarn to ask, and then Jason, who was radiating jealousy from where he crouched on top of the computer. He basked in Bruce's arms for a minute, then accidentally let out a purr. He kicked out of Bruce's hold and vanished into the darkness of the cave.

 

Bruce got dressed, occasionally pausing to rescue bits of his armor from the inquisitive Tim or Barbara; to pet Damian, who was loudly complaining with _"Don't leave!"_ noises the whole time; and caress Dick, who kept doing tricks for attention or curling up in pieces of the Batsuit because he knew Bruce would have to pick him up to get him out of the way. "Shameless little attention hogs."

 

o.o.o.o.o

 

Theoretically, none of the cats could leave the manor, Bruce even put trackers on them, yet they still mysteriously managed to get out. He often crossed paths with one or another of them, most often Jason snd Stephanie, while on patrol, going about their own business while he went about his. He had never once actually caught sight of Tim in the city, yet the little tabby's tracker almost always registered near Batman's every time he checked. When Dick had been younger, he'd actually been a significant help to Batman on several cases, and the other cats occasionally contributed as well.

 

This particular night started out quiet. Batman, after checking in with Jim Gordon, swung away and caught a glimpse of a feline silhouette in the commissioner's office window that might or might not have been Barbara. Batman sighed, ignored it, and continued on to check out the lead on the robbery Jim had given him.

 

The busywork turned out to be not so minor. Something else had been stolen along with the cash, something that two gangs and a meta from Central City wanted. Batman, realizing the scope of what he'd stumbled upon just seconds too late, was now caught in a deathtrap while a supervillain monologued and a gang war raged outside. "...but you already knew that, didn't you! Oh well. Say goodbye, Batsy!"

 

The villain punched the button on his remote. Nothing happened. He frowned and pressed it again, with the same result, then looked at the control panel of his death machine.

 

An ink-black cat was sitting on it, gazing coolly at him.

 

"Cass! Go home!" Batman hissed softly, worried for her. The young female was even more mysterious than most cats, having shown up on Batman's patrol route one night with human-inflicted scars and such profound silence that Bruce had incorrectly thought at first that her vocal cords were damaged. (She did hiss when she was fighting, and make very soft purrs when she was extremely happy.) She was as invisible as Tim when she wanted to be, but, like Dick, seemed to take a strangely active interest in some of Batman's cases.

 

She had saved his life more than once, as she did now, peeing on the death machine's control panel (it short-circuited) before dodging the enraged villain's retaliatory blast of power and then clawing at his left eye, landing behind him with a blood-flecked paw before he even screamed.

 

Batman escaped his bonds before the villain recovered and finished incapacitating him. By the time he looked up, Cass had vanished again. "Thanks, Cassie...."

 

o.o.o.o.o

 

It was past three in the morning when Batman returned to the cave. He pulled off his cowl and collapsed into the computer chair with a groan.

 

Dick instantly leaped onto him and started his usual _"I'mma get that icky Gotham street smell off My Human"_ routine, rubbing his scent glands all over Bruce's chest and neck and face, purring so hard as he worked that Bruce could feel his lungs rattle. He idly caressed the cat as he did so. Then, when the jabs and bites at his ankles got too annoying to ignore (kitten teeth and claws couldn't penetrate the armor, but he could still feel the insistent bumps against his feet), he leaned down with a groan to scoop up Damian and start petting him, too.

 

Barbara sat grooming herself on a work table, while Duke napped in the basket beneath it and Jason restlessly prowled around the weapons rack. Cass materialized almost out of nowhere, sniffed delicately at Bruce, then disappeared again. When Dick finished his ministrations, he lay sprawled over Bruce's chest and shoulder, still making his happy diesel engine purrs, and Damian had fallen asleep under the slow stroking of his human's fingers.

 

Bruce used his other hand to work a laser pointer out of his utility belt and start dancing it along the floor, smiling when Stephanie raced to catch the elusive red spot. They played until Bruce felt up to working on his post-patrol reports, so he turned off the light and set a hand on Dick so the cat wouldn't fall when he straightened up to work.

 

_7 Sept. 2018, 03:31_

 

_Commissioner's lead on the Cornerstone robberies connected to Neon Dragawewgdk_

 

"Tim," Bruce said in fond exasperation.

 

The cat continued on a few more steps, garbling the report even more, before pausing to gaze at Bruce, the tip of his tail flicking idly.

 

"Get off the computer, I'm working."

 

Tim casually glanced in the other direction, at the computer screen, then sat down right where he was on the keyboard. As his butt summoned a long string of 'd's, he reached out a paw to tap the 'i' key.

 

'p,' Bruce typed.

 

'j'

 

'a'

 

'y'

 

'i.' The game, as it had been invented after Tim had been at the manor for a couple of months, was that the cat typed letters seemingly at random, and Bruce did his best to make words out of them.

 

 _dipjayinpie_ , this particular round ended (minus the ten million 'd's in between each letter). "Okay, Timmy, that's enough, I really do have to write this report."

 

o.o.o.o.o

 

Bruce threw himself onto his bed in exhaustion, and soon felt the cats gathering (minus Duke, who was more active during the day and had headed off into the manor rather than the master bedroom). Barbara lay down in her favorite cat bed by the desk; Stephanie played with a (thankfully non-jingly) cat toy on the floor; Tim investigated a (thankfully empty) mug on the nightstand that had earlier held coffee. Dick and Damian curled up in their respective favorite sleeping spots, Dick on Bruce's chest and Damian on the pillow near his head.

 

Bruce fell asleep to Dick's purring. He woke up half an hour later to the almost painful sensation of Jason licking insistently at a spot on his forehead, and pushed the cat away. Jason hissed, plopped down half on Bruce's neck, and started to groom himself. Bruce intended to push the brat away again, yet despite the restless movement, Bruce somehow fell back asleep before he could do more than rest his fingertips against the cat's fur.

 

Jason eventually settled down. Tim came to lie along Bruce's side, and Stephanie went to cuddle with Barbara. Cass kept watch over her family from her vantage point atop the bookshelf, but the hours before dawn were all peaceful.

 

o.o.o

 

A/N: I had this idea ages ago, but didn't know what to actually write for it until the past few days, when my muse was suddenly and randomly like, "YAY BATCATS!" XD

 

I've been working to organize my notes for _The Birds Who Smile_! The "John vs. Bruce" arc is so dang complicated and difficult for me, but I'm trying. X''''D


	9. The Birds Who Smile: Convenient Kiss

The Birds Who Smile: Convenient Kiss

(rough draft)

A Batman fanfic by Raberba girl

 

Summary: Set in my AU "The Birds Who Smile." Mar'i kisses Uncle John and is instantly granted access to a very exclusive group.

 

A/N: This fic is crossposted on all my sites, but in different collections. Ask me if you can't find it on AO3 or FFN (or DA).

 

Warning for mild spoilers because this is set far in the future.

 

o.o.o

 

Mar'i Grayson was three years old when she kissed one of her bird uncles for the first time.

 

"All right, Mar'i, say bye-bye," her father cooed in the foyer of Wayne Manor the morning after Thanksgiving, picking her up so she could better reach their relatives. Before he finished the gesture, she had floated out of his hold and settled into her grandfather's waiting arms. "Bye-bye, Grandpa Bruce," she said, squeezing her arms around his neck. She pronounced it like 'Gampa Boose.'

 

"Goodbye, Mar'i. I was very happy to have you here for Thanksgiving."

 

"Halloween and then Thanksgiving and then CHRISTMAS!!" she cheered, then scrambled onto his shoulder and jumped off toward the next one.

 

"Oof," Tim half-grunted, half-laughed as he caught her. "Bye, Mar'i."

 

"Bye-bye, Uncle Timmy!" She hugged him and looked around for the next relative to say goodbye to, then paused. Uncle Jack was cooing goodbye to the baby in Mommy's tummy, and at the same time, Mommy was arched back, holding Uncle Jason's neck still with one arm so she could put a big loud kiss on his cheek.

 

"Cut it out, Kori!" Uncle Jason yelled, struggling, but Daddy was laughing. Teasing, then.

 

Mar'i looked for someone to tease, too, and Uncle John was closest. He wasn't as fun to tease because he was like Daddy and thought it was all funny, but he would probably still be good to kiss. "Bye-bye, Uncle John!" Mar'i called, and dove to smack her lips against his cheek like Mommy was doing to Uncle Jason.

 

Mar'i went very still and dropped to the ground; John's hands darted out to steady her.

 

"Mar'i? What's wrong, sweetie?" Dick asked, as everyone else looked at the little girl in concern.

 

Looking a little dazed, she finally raised her hands and signed, _"My head feels weird."_

 

Everyone stared. Mar'i knew a bit of ASL from her parents trying to get in the habit of teaching her, but she had only just started learning, which didn't match her sudden easy signing.

 

 _"Oh no,"_ John twittered to himself without thinking, moving to check her over, _"Little Star is sick maybe/maybe-not? Was good but now--"_

 

 _"Okay okay okay!"_ Mar'i twittered impatiently, pushing him away. _"Feel better now."_ She shook her head to finish clearing it, tossing her drifting dark hair.

 

"Wait, WHAT?!"

 

"Did she just--?!"

 

Peter pushed closer and demanded in full bird language, _"Little Star say bird words now, yes no yes?!"_

 

The child's face lit up as she realized she could understand him perfectly. She twittered back, lisping with her baby mouth but fluent despite the accent, _"Bird-me like bird-you bird-him bird-him!"_ she said triumphantly, pointing to each of her uncles in turn.

 

"No waaaaaayyyyyy!" The adults were all laughing in amazement.

 

As Jack crouched down and started signing to Mar'i, who signed back with childish fluency, Dick and Kori looked at each other. "But I thought your family already knew of this Tamaranean ability, yes?"

 

"I didn't even think-- Gosh, this really is the first time she's kissed any of the birds, huh!"

 

 _"Sounds like baby new-bird [warble],"_ John teased.

 

"Whistling is hard when you're young," Jack grumbled. He suddenly realized that Bruce was filming, as the man always did in pursuit of his goal to decipher his youngest sons' private language. (Bruce had figured out about 20% of it, but it was slow going when they all refused to help except to laugh at his mangled attempts to speak it. He was pretty sure they didn't realize that their unwitting acknowledgment of his mistakes was itself helpful.) _"Little Star,"_ Jack twittered, _"bird language is secret, secret! Just us only."_

 

_"Only???"_

 

Jack's eyes flicked to his father, shoulders slightly hunched in a mildly protective way. Any other child would have missed it, but Mar'i now recognized it for the non-verbal communication it was: _"It is secret/protected from Bruce-him."_

 

 _"Why can't we tell Grandpa?"_ Mar'i asked with her hands, proving that she'd understood.

 

"Body language, too!" Peter burst out, laughing.

 

"No wonder your head felt funny - _three_ new languages at once," Dick said fondly, ruffling his daughter's hair.

 

"I would suggest that she not kiss me or Father until she's older," Damian remarked. The sheer number of languages he and Bruce were fluent in would likely overwhelm anyone 'learning' them all at once, particularly if that person was only a few years old.

 

 _"Bird language for birds only,"_ John said smugly. _"Big people not allowed."_

 

 _"_ _You_ _are big person,"_ Mar'i pointed out.

 

_"Wasn't when I learned to sing."_

 

"All right, all right, we really do need to go," Dick said, scooping up Mar'i again. "We'll play more with Uncle Birds next time, okay? Byyyye, everyone!"

 

Everyone called out goodbyes to the little family and followed them out the door. At the last moment, Kori tugged Jack close and kissed his temple. She paused for a moment to assimilate (she hadn't realized how _sad_ bird language could be sometimes...'goodbye,' for example, had connotations of 'I'll never see you again because you're dead,'), so she twittered instead, _"See you_ _all_ _soon, love you love you love you!"_

 

The family burst into laughter.


End file.
